I have a new reclining chair. It cost one hundred dollars, delivery from the Inner Richmond included. I got the chair on Craigslist, much like everything else that i possess: my job, my apartment, my spiritual enlightenment, my reclining chair, etc.

After limited success in the "missed connections" and "casual encounters" sections of Craigslist, I finally went to the "furniture" section and quickly met my match. So now I have my reclining chair. Unfortunately, now I've got to pay better attention to the bookish girl at the neighborhood coffee shop. That, and I'm also obliged to meet someone in a public restroom tomorrow at three.

My misfortune doesn't end there. Now that I've got my reclining chair, there's nothing good on television. My favorite TV show, C-Span's "Prime Minister's Questions" went immediately downhill after they killed off my favorite character, Tony Blair. And on Comedy Central, they're not showing evening re-runs of Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert.

I can't watch Stewart and Colbert on Monday and Wednesday nights, because they're on way past my bedtime. And I can't watch them on Tuesday and Thursday nights, because those nights are reserved for getting my cousin's sexual predator paperwork in order. I do it because I'm nice and he's family. Also, he pays me back in crystal methamphetamine and Seven-Eleven microwavable burritos.